I have been told by several people that I should write a book about parenting. Although some parents may find my insights amusing, I doubt very much that I could give practical advice. After all, I'm just making this stuff up as I go! Take what happened today for instance:
We had just gotten home from work/school/babysitter and the kids were at it again...fighting. Ugh, the fighting! I've tried reasoning with them: "You guys haven't seen each other all day! Play nicely!" I've tried guilting them: "Lauren, he is the ONLY brother you have...be nice to him." I've tried threats: "If I hear you guys fighting one more time...!" I've even tried making them "hug it out." Nothing seems to really work. So, I've invented a method for dealing with sibling rivalry that I'm sure most psychologists would have a hayday with.
Turn up the music and dance.
And that's what I do. I walk straight to my kitchen where the radio is, crank that sucker up, and bust a move. No kidding. It works wonders! I'm sure you're thinking, "I'd have to see it to believe it." Right? Well, forget it. I only dance in three instances: 1)with my Kindergarten class, 2)with my own children in the privacy of my own home, 3)in public after a really good night with really good friends.
So what is the reaction that I get when I do this? Well, usually Braden wanders in and starts jammin' with me. Lauren is usually mad at me that I have stolen her sparring partner and pouts until the end of the song. Then, she and Braden go off and play together. NO LIE. This just happened in our house, and right now both kids are in my basement playing house, walking around in my shoes. :) Oh the irony.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Let All the Little Children Come to Me
Okay, first of all, I am NOT comparing myself to Jesus Christ. He is without sin, and I have done plenty of it! He also performed a bunch of miracles, and most days it's a miracle if I'm on time to work! But, this phrase has become a metaphor for every family outing that we take. Here's just a taste of the magnetism that I have that seems to attract other people's kids.
I took my two kids to Play All Day on Sunday. (If you've never been there, it is a must! They have three big bounce houses and a ton of other imaginative play options for the kids to make a mess of. They play, mess up the place, and you take them home exhausted and happy. Check it out! http://www.playsiouxland.com )
Play All Day has a bunch of comfy couches and chairs for the adults to sit on and even has free Internet access. So, I brought my computer and messed around on the Internet for a bit while the kids had fun going from bounce house to bounce house. When they tired of that, they came to find me and wanted to play some other things. Lauren went off to play with some girls she'd found, but Braden wanted help setting up and playing the bean bag toss game. So, I put away my computer and sat on the floor with Braden to play the game. No sooner did we have it set up, when another child wanted to join us. Sure! The more the merrier right? Then another one, and another one, and still another one came over to join us. So they were all playing with me being the bean bag retriever and re-setter-upper of the little animals they were tossing at. I should mention, I was the only parent in this area and no, I do not work there part time.
Braden got tired of that, so we left the other kids to continue playing. Then we set up the little bowling pins and started bowling. Same kids came over to play, plus a couple more. Same scenario, no other parents offering to help re-setup the pins, or to supervise the arguments that always take place when more than one child is playing a game. By this time Braden was tired of being followed around, and so was I, so he set off to go play in the bounce houses some more and I went to find Lauren.
She was making a get well card for her great grandpa Livgren and was wanting help with it. Soon, the other little girl at the art center was ALSO asking me for help with HER project! By this time I'm wondering if I'm giving off some sort of pheromone that only kids are attracted to. (Well, kids and stray dogs...I'm a sucker for both!) So, I helped both girls with their work and then finally went to sit down again in my comfy chair. But alas, Lauren and Braden both found me and wanted me to play house with them. So off we go. Along with about 10 followers. So, we all played house with everyone else's children who were there serving me plate after plate of pretend food, etc.
I have no problem including other people's children in my play time with my own children. The problem I have is when it is obvious that none of these other parents have any interest whatsoever of engaging their own children in play, or at least checking with me that it's ok for them to play with us! If you don't enjoy spending time with your children, then why the heck did you have them anyway!? Do I just LOVE playing pretend? Nope...I actually despise it....like tremendously. Do I LOVE being the gopher and running after bean bags and stray bowling balls? No...but I do it because it brings a smile to my child's face.
My challenge to all of you parents out there is this: The next time you take your kids to a place where they have the freedom to fun free and play, and you have the opportunity to just sit back and watch, (or text, or chat on the phone, or check your email) DON'T! Get up off your butt, turn off your phone, and PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS! And give the moms like me a stinkin' break!
I took my two kids to Play All Day on Sunday. (If you've never been there, it is a must! They have three big bounce houses and a ton of other imaginative play options for the kids to make a mess of. They play, mess up the place, and you take them home exhausted and happy. Check it out! http://www.playsiouxland.com )
Play All Day has a bunch of comfy couches and chairs for the adults to sit on and even has free Internet access. So, I brought my computer and messed around on the Internet for a bit while the kids had fun going from bounce house to bounce house. When they tired of that, they came to find me and wanted to play some other things. Lauren went off to play with some girls she'd found, but Braden wanted help setting up and playing the bean bag toss game. So, I put away my computer and sat on the floor with Braden to play the game. No sooner did we have it set up, when another child wanted to join us. Sure! The more the merrier right? Then another one, and another one, and still another one came over to join us. So they were all playing with me being the bean bag retriever and re-setter-upper of the little animals they were tossing at. I should mention, I was the only parent in this area and no, I do not work there part time.
Braden got tired of that, so we left the other kids to continue playing. Then we set up the little bowling pins and started bowling. Same kids came over to play, plus a couple more. Same scenario, no other parents offering to help re-setup the pins, or to supervise the arguments that always take place when more than one child is playing a game. By this time Braden was tired of being followed around, and so was I, so he set off to go play in the bounce houses some more and I went to find Lauren.
She was making a get well card for her great grandpa Livgren and was wanting help with it. Soon, the other little girl at the art center was ALSO asking me for help with HER project! By this time I'm wondering if I'm giving off some sort of pheromone that only kids are attracted to. (Well, kids and stray dogs...I'm a sucker for both!) So, I helped both girls with their work and then finally went to sit down again in my comfy chair. But alas, Lauren and Braden both found me and wanted me to play house with them. So off we go. Along with about 10 followers. So, we all played house with everyone else's children who were there serving me plate after plate of pretend food, etc.
I have no problem including other people's children in my play time with my own children. The problem I have is when it is obvious that none of these other parents have any interest whatsoever of engaging their own children in play, or at least checking with me that it's ok for them to play with us! If you don't enjoy spending time with your children, then why the heck did you have them anyway!? Do I just LOVE playing pretend? Nope...I actually despise it....like tremendously. Do I LOVE being the gopher and running after bean bags and stray bowling balls? No...but I do it because it brings a smile to my child's face.
My challenge to all of you parents out there is this: The next time you take your kids to a place where they have the freedom to fun free and play, and you have the opportunity to just sit back and watch, (or text, or chat on the phone, or check your email) DON'T! Get up off your butt, turn off your phone, and PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS! And give the moms like me a stinkin' break!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Choices
As parents we try to raise our children to make good choices in their lives. When they are young we let them choose between silly things to give them a sense of having some control over their lives. For example, "Do you want to wear the red shirt, or the blue shirt?" "Would you like to brush your teeth first or read stories first?" As they get a bit older, we let them make a few more choices, such as what clothes they want to wear to school. Their choices sometimes embarrass us, like when Lauren decides to wear a red and white striped shirt that's too small for her, purple sweatpants, green socks, and her pink and white shoes. . .but we smile, tell her she looks awesome, and away to school we go. Hey, she's dressed and I'm on time for work...it doesn't get much better than that!
But there are just some choices that we can't afford to let them make....that's why we are the parents and they are the children. We know what's best for them, and until they are old enough to make good choices on their own, it's up to us to do it for them. If I allowed my children to decide what they ate for every meal, they would weigh 100 pounds and their teeth would be falling out of their heads....hmm...well, at a faster rate than is normal for 6 year olds anyway. They would sit in front of the TV when it is beautiful out and their bikes would look like they've never been ridden. They would never bathe and would be known as the stinky kids on our block. Braden would never enroll in school and would reek havoc on this world moreso than he is going to just because he is Braden.
I am a teacher in a very successful Dual Language Program. Our students are learning to read, write, and speak in English and in Spanish starting at the very early age of 5. I am very proud to be a part of this program, and prouder still to be a parent of a student in this program. I did not give Lauren a choice of which preschools to attend, which elementary school she would attend, or whether or not to take part in the Dual Language Program. As her mother, and now her teacher, I know that the choices I have made for her will give her a better chance to make something great of her life. Which is why my jaw dropped yesterday when speaking with another parent about my program during our kindergarten registration.
I had explained to her what the program's goals are, how her daughter's day would be spent, and how much success we have had. She then turns to her 5 year old and says, "What do you think honey, do you want to learn Spanish?" To which the little "angel" replies, no, with a shake of her head. So her mom says, "Well, she's very opinionated, so if she doesn't want to, I think we'll pass." Uhhhh....seriously? Like....really? I mean...you're kidding right? You are going to let a FIVE YEAR OLD make THAT kind of a decision? Wow. I must be behind the times. I guess I should give in to my 4 year old, withdraw him from preschool for next year, and let Lauren chew gum every minute of every day.
But there are just some choices that we can't afford to let them make....that's why we are the parents and they are the children. We know what's best for them, and until they are old enough to make good choices on their own, it's up to us to do it for them. If I allowed my children to decide what they ate for every meal, they would weigh 100 pounds and their teeth would be falling out of their heads....hmm...well, at a faster rate than is normal for 6 year olds anyway. They would sit in front of the TV when it is beautiful out and their bikes would look like they've never been ridden. They would never bathe and would be known as the stinky kids on our block. Braden would never enroll in school and would reek havoc on this world moreso than he is going to just because he is Braden.
I am a teacher in a very successful Dual Language Program. Our students are learning to read, write, and speak in English and in Spanish starting at the very early age of 5. I am very proud to be a part of this program, and prouder still to be a parent of a student in this program. I did not give Lauren a choice of which preschools to attend, which elementary school she would attend, or whether or not to take part in the Dual Language Program. As her mother, and now her teacher, I know that the choices I have made for her will give her a better chance to make something great of her life. Which is why my jaw dropped yesterday when speaking with another parent about my program during our kindergarten registration.
I had explained to her what the program's goals are, how her daughter's day would be spent, and how much success we have had. She then turns to her 5 year old and says, "What do you think honey, do you want to learn Spanish?" To which the little "angel" replies, no, with a shake of her head. So her mom says, "Well, she's very opinionated, so if she doesn't want to, I think we'll pass." Uhhhh....seriously? Like....really? I mean...you're kidding right? You are going to let a FIVE YEAR OLD make THAT kind of a decision? Wow. I must be behind the times. I guess I should give in to my 4 year old, withdraw him from preschool for next year, and let Lauren chew gum every minute of every day.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Out of the Mouths of Babes...or 3 Year Olds
One thing that I can say with 100% certainty, is that I am NOT a good housekeeper. I am an excellent teacher, a great wife, a good mom, and a great friend to have. I will come to your house and clean it so well that it shines. . .but please do not come to my house unannounced! You will walk into a mess 9 times out of 10.
And it's not always my kids' things that are all over the place either. Jason and I are just as guilty of leaving our things around. At any given time you could walk into a living room with a pile of unfolded laundry...including our unmentionables....just hanging out on my chair. Like now, for instance. You would also find dirty dishes in the sink, most likely because the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and neither Jason nor I have won the battle over who is going to unload them yet. And I can guarantee you that my bed will not be made...that is what they make bedroom doors for!
However, there are times when I get a wild hair, you know where, and I decide to clean. And I mean clean. Not just your weekly disinfecting of the bathrooms, oh no, I mean the kind where you drag everything out into the middle of the room, throw stuff away, and only put back what you really, really, really need. This is a rarity at our house, but it does happen. Usually when I'm in one of my cleaning moods, the kids will ask: "Who's coming to visit?" You might think that's funny, but there is a lot of truth to that statement. Usually my house only looks really nice when someone is coming to stay with us for a few days.
Well, with yesterday being a snow day, I had it in my head that I was going to get some long-needed cleaning done. I took down all of the Christmas decorations and got them put away. I did all of the "weekly" stuff that hadn't been done in, well, awhile. And then I took after the kitchen. I organized my pantry, and as I was passing by the fridge I decided to clean it as well.
I am a lot like my mom when it comes to my refrigerator. You can figure out my whole life just by perusing the photos on the front and sides of my fridge. I don't ever take anything down, I just add new stuff. So, you really can't even tell what color the fridge is! Well, yesterday I removed all of the photos and other memorabilia and scrubbed the fridge until it shone. I thought it looked quite nice, and had decided not to put everything back on it. When I called the kids up for supper, Braden took one look at the fridge and said, "Wow Mom! I LOVE your new fridge!" LOL! He didn't believe me that it was the same one until he opened it up and realized that the inside was still as frightful as it always is. :)
Remember...call before you come. :)
And it's not always my kids' things that are all over the place either. Jason and I are just as guilty of leaving our things around. At any given time you could walk into a living room with a pile of unfolded laundry...including our unmentionables....just hanging out on my chair. Like now, for instance. You would also find dirty dishes in the sink, most likely because the dishes in the dishwasher are clean and neither Jason nor I have won the battle over who is going to unload them yet. And I can guarantee you that my bed will not be made...that is what they make bedroom doors for!
However, there are times when I get a wild hair, you know where, and I decide to clean. And I mean clean. Not just your weekly disinfecting of the bathrooms, oh no, I mean the kind where you drag everything out into the middle of the room, throw stuff away, and only put back what you really, really, really need. This is a rarity at our house, but it does happen. Usually when I'm in one of my cleaning moods, the kids will ask: "Who's coming to visit?" You might think that's funny, but there is a lot of truth to that statement. Usually my house only looks really nice when someone is coming to stay with us for a few days.
Well, with yesterday being a snow day, I had it in my head that I was going to get some long-needed cleaning done. I took down all of the Christmas decorations and got them put away. I did all of the "weekly" stuff that hadn't been done in, well, awhile. And then I took after the kitchen. I organized my pantry, and as I was passing by the fridge I decided to clean it as well.
I am a lot like my mom when it comes to my refrigerator. You can figure out my whole life just by perusing the photos on the front and sides of my fridge. I don't ever take anything down, I just add new stuff. So, you really can't even tell what color the fridge is! Well, yesterday I removed all of the photos and other memorabilia and scrubbed the fridge until it shone. I thought it looked quite nice, and had decided not to put everything back on it. When I called the kids up for supper, Braden took one look at the fridge and said, "Wow Mom! I LOVE your new fridge!" LOL! He didn't believe me that it was the same one until he opened it up and realized that the inside was still as frightful as it always is. :)
Remember...call before you come. :)
Friday, December 24, 2010
Melodrama
One of my fondest memories of Lauren's toddler-hood was one summer day when she was about 18 months old. We were living in a crappy little apartment that I hated and Jason loved. He said it was like being on vacation...no yard work, no home maintenance projects, etc. We were there for 6 months while our home was being built. It was very hard to go from living in a nice house, back to living in a cramped apartment. The part I hated was being newly pregnant for the 2nd time, hauling groceries up 3 flights of stairs with a toddler in tow, and then having to go back down the stairs to take the big dog outside. Ugh, never again. But that is not the point of my story.
One day Lauren wasn't feeling the greatest, so I was trying to give her some medicine. She was not taking it well and it got all over her face. While I was trying to wipe it off, she turned away from me and smushed her face down into our very nice, suede recliner. Jason freaked out. "Oh great, it's ruined! Is this what it means to have kids? That we can't have anything nice?! Great, just great....no, you can't clean it...it's ruined!"
The reason why this is such a fond memory for me is that it was then that I realized how much my wonderful husband exaggerates. So now whenever Jason is telling a story, hunting or otherwise, we tell the listener to divide by two and add one. And that's the truth.
Which brings me to today. It's Christmas Eve and we are spending it with Jason's family and extended family this year. It's a ton of excitement because there are more kids for our kids to play with. That being the case, we decided that our kids should take a nap this afternoon because we know that it will be a late night. We had gotten them situated and given all the usual warnings about staying in bed and not bothering each other. Thinking they were settled, I headed to take a shower and make myself presentable for our evening out. When I was just about ready, Jason came storming down the stairs spewing the following rhetoric:
"That's it, I'm done. I've had it. They don't listen! All our kids are good at is watching TV and eating junk food! That's all they're good at. I'm done!"
Apparently nap time did not go as planned. But. . .if you know our kids....and if you know Jason...you'll know to "divide by two and add one" and that is really how it went.
Merry Christmas!
One day Lauren wasn't feeling the greatest, so I was trying to give her some medicine. She was not taking it well and it got all over her face. While I was trying to wipe it off, she turned away from me and smushed her face down into our very nice, suede recliner. Jason freaked out. "Oh great, it's ruined! Is this what it means to have kids? That we can't have anything nice?! Great, just great....no, you can't clean it...it's ruined!"
The reason why this is such a fond memory for me is that it was then that I realized how much my wonderful husband exaggerates. So now whenever Jason is telling a story, hunting or otherwise, we tell the listener to divide by two and add one. And that's the truth.
Which brings me to today. It's Christmas Eve and we are spending it with Jason's family and extended family this year. It's a ton of excitement because there are more kids for our kids to play with. That being the case, we decided that our kids should take a nap this afternoon because we know that it will be a late night. We had gotten them situated and given all the usual warnings about staying in bed and not bothering each other. Thinking they were settled, I headed to take a shower and make myself presentable for our evening out. When I was just about ready, Jason came storming down the stairs spewing the following rhetoric:
"That's it, I'm done. I've had it. They don't listen! All our kids are good at is watching TV and eating junk food! That's all they're good at. I'm done!"
Apparently nap time did not go as planned. But. . .if you know our kids....and if you know Jason...you'll know to "divide by two and add one" and that is really how it went.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Why 6 Year Olds Make Lousy Criminals
Today was cold, windy, and wet. The weather just couldn't make up its mind about what it wanted to do today, so it went with snowing sleet balls. Strange. But it was close enough to freezing rain that it iced over my windows. I was on a search for the scraper that didn't seem to exist when I saw it. The graffiti.
Written in blue pen were the initials "LJ." "I can't believe that I was tagged by the LJ gang!", was my first thought. My second thought was, "Huh...I wonder how they got into my LOCKED van and waaaay back into the back seat without me ever seeing them! I'm sure glad that Lauren wasn't in there when it happened because she usually sits back there and colors on the way to.....uh....wait a minute."
Lauren (who we call LJ), the leader of the LJ graffiti gang, is now serving a two-day sentence for her artwork.
And that is why 6 year olds make lousy criminals...they aren't smart enough to write somebody else's name! :)
Written in blue pen were the initials "LJ." "I can't believe that I was tagged by the LJ gang!", was my first thought. My second thought was, "Huh...I wonder how they got into my LOCKED van and waaaay back into the back seat without me ever seeing them! I'm sure glad that Lauren wasn't in there when it happened because she usually sits back there and colors on the way to.....uh....wait a minute."
Lauren (who we call LJ), the leader of the LJ graffiti gang, is now serving a two-day sentence for her artwork.
And that is why 6 year olds make lousy criminals...they aren't smart enough to write somebody else's name! :)
Friday, November 26, 2010
What to Get Your Spoiled Kids for Christmas!?
Ok, so I know it's customary to want your children to have more than you had, and be more successful than you were...blah blah blah. But c'mon...really?! Does this have to extend to the "things" department too?
We have been struggling with what to get our kids for Christmas. Braden wants anything he lays eyes on, and my beautiful daughter wants a DSi. Braden will be very easy to buy for this year. Anything related to sports, cars, action heroes, Buzz Lightyear, or Lightening McQueen will do. But I am afraid that my daughter will learn a new vocabulary word this year: disappointment.
I refuse to buy my 6 year old a Nintendo DSi!! Call me crazy, but I do not think that children her age need something of that caliber. That ranks right up with my views on kids having TV's in their bedrooms, battery-operated cars to tool around in, cell phones before they are old enough to pay for them on their own, and meth labs in their playrooms.
Now...I know that some parents are just fine with most of these things (minus the make your own meth lab kit I hope), but Jason and I agree wholeheartedly on these items not being appropriate. Of course, I also said that I would never own a mini van too....
So where does that leave me? Basically stuck with NO ideas for a "big" gift for my 6 year old daughter that I deem as reasonable, and that she would love. I am half-temped to go through the mountains of things they already own and wrap some of it up. $10 says they have forgotten they even own some of it!
We have been struggling with what to get our kids for Christmas. Braden wants anything he lays eyes on, and my beautiful daughter wants a DSi. Braden will be very easy to buy for this year. Anything related to sports, cars, action heroes, Buzz Lightyear, or Lightening McQueen will do. But I am afraid that my daughter will learn a new vocabulary word this year: disappointment.
I refuse to buy my 6 year old a Nintendo DSi!! Call me crazy, but I do not think that children her age need something of that caliber. That ranks right up with my views on kids having TV's in their bedrooms, battery-operated cars to tool around in, cell phones before they are old enough to pay for them on their own, and meth labs in their playrooms.
Now...I know that some parents are just fine with most of these things (minus the make your own meth lab kit I hope), but Jason and I agree wholeheartedly on these items not being appropriate. Of course, I also said that I would never own a mini van too....
So where does that leave me? Basically stuck with NO ideas for a "big" gift for my 6 year old daughter that I deem as reasonable, and that she would love. I am half-temped to go through the mountains of things they already own and wrap some of it up. $10 says they have forgotten they even own some of it!
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