For those of you who don't yet have children, or who have children who are younger, this is what you have to look forward to:
There will come a day when your children are in early elementary school when you figure that they are old enough to be left to their own devices while you take a shower. You will get them settled at the kitchen table, coloring nicely. You will set the ground rules: "No answering the door. No answering the phone. If you need me I will be in the shower." They will say "ok mom" and into the shower you will hop.
Then it happens. You will be just about to rinse the shampoo from your hair when you hear the blood-curdling scream of "Moooooooommmmmmyyyyyy!" The thoughts that go through your mind first are: Where is the hand gun and where is my cell phone? You will jump out of the shower, stubbing your big toe on the shower door, run out the bathroom door, slipping and sliding all the way. You arrive in the kitchen with a hand gun in one hand, the emergency response team on your phone in the other, shampoo dripping into your eyes, and nothing on but your birthday suit. Then your child will look at you and say:
"Never mind, I found the red crayon."