Thursday, October 14, 2010

Why do I Bother?!

Ok, seriously, why do I think that it's going to be any different each time I take my kids on errands with me?  Seriously, why?!  It's always the same.  We leave with a goal in mind, I warn them of what is going to happen should they decide to misbehave, they misbehave anyway, I whisper threats under my breath to them, we come home mad at each other and then they act like nothing has happened.

Tonight was barely different.  We had to run to WalMart (enter large groan here) to get a couple of birthday presents for some very important friends in our lives.  Before we left I said, "Ok, now if I count you to three we are coming straight home with no presents."  I checked for understanding and away we went.

The first thing that happens is that they are fighting over which side of the cart they are going to walk on and things are getting loud.  "That's one for both of you." I calmly say.  We go a little further.  I grab some much-needed hair products and we turn to go down where the toys are.  Now they aren't really misbehaving at this point, but their oooohs and ahhhhs over all the Halloween decorations are just a bit on the loud side.  "That's two guys, quiet down."  I'm still calm.  We are now in the dreaded toy aisle.  This is where the calmness has left my body and I am downright stressed.  They are running back and forth from aisle to aisle yelling like hyenas about all the cool stuff.  Now here is where this counting thing gets tricky!  They have already been counted to two for being loud in the store.  Here I should count them to three, leave my cart full of things, and go home.  Here is why I don't:
  1. I have a cart full of things that I came to the dreaded WalMart to buy.  Things I "need."  Do I really want to leave them?
  2. We've come SO FAR!  We have gotten all of our other little things on my list, and are now down to the last two items.  Can I really give up now?
  3. If I count them to three and "calmly" say that we are now leaving, I will have to make the "walk of shame" all the way to the front of the store and out into the parking lot with at least one screamer, one whiner, and a very red-in-the-face mom.
So what do I do?  I resort back to my old ways of muttering things under my breath, making empty threats that there is no way I would follow through on, and leave the store with all of the things in my cart while making apologetic faces at the poor cashier who has to deal with us.

The only thing keeping me from feeling like a complete failure in tonight's little escapade is the fact that I came home with a Margaritaville Margarita Maker and all the fixens!  Now you know why I couldn't leave my cart!  LOL!

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