Thursday, October 28, 2010

Today's Headline Reads: 5 Year Old Outsmarts the Tooth Fairy!

Lauren has had this awfully, wiggly, disgusting example of a tooth for far too long now.  Last night she was horrified when it started bleeding.  I think it was the tooth's way of saying "enough already, get me outa here!"  So we finally convinced her to pull it out.  This is only the 2nd tooth that she has lost, so there is still much excitement about these things in our house. She very proudly paraded it around the house and excitedly placed it into her purple, velvet pouch and under her pillow to await the monetary deposit that the tooth fairy would make.

Upon bedtime, she and I were talking about her tooth, the new gap in her mouth, and the cool things that she can do now that the tooth has vacated the premises (ie - drink milk through a straw by placing the straw in the hole, spit water at her brother in the bathtub through the hole...these types of fun things).  Lauren informed me that she didn't want the tooth fairy to take her tooth.  I said that of course she would take it, and leave her some money in its place.  She insisted that she keep her tooth!  But she would never give me reason.  So as I closed her door we ended our conversation with how excited the tooth fairy would be to get her nice baby tooth.

During the wee hours of the morning, the tooth fairy fluttered into Lauren's room and reached under her pillow to extract the purple, velvet pouch.  It wasn't there.  "That's odd," thought the tooth fairy.  So, she looked all around Lauren's bed in case it had fallen.  Nowhere to be found.  So, she looked in Lauren's jewelry box, thinking that maybe she had tucked it there for safe keeping.  Nope.  She looked in Lauren's dollhouse.  Not there either.  She looked in Lauren's nightstand drawer. Nada. The tooth fairy finally gave up and fluttered away, very disappointed.

This morning Jason and I went into Lauren's room to wake her up and see what the tooth fairy left for her.  She lifted up her pillow to show us that there was nothing there.  "Where is it?," asked her father.  Lauren said that the tooth fairy hadn't left her anything because she had hidden her tooth and planned to keep it!  Jason and I looked all over her room, but to no avail.  So we told her that we give up.  She smiled sheepishly and stated: "It's in my robe pocket."

And that is how the tooth fairy was outsmarted by a 5 year old. :)  (Round 2 guess is that the tooth fairy wins this time!)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Things I Know to be True

This list is a compilation of things that I have learned in my lifetime, however short some of you might think it's been, and I'd like to share them with you and see what you think.  We'll see if any of them are interesting enough to build upon for future posts. :)

These, of course, are in no particular order...just in the order that I have remembered them or made them up. LOL!
  1. Never Say Never!  (Case in point, I own a mini-van and I teach Kindergarten!)
  2. Do not allow your children to watch television until they are over the age of 5.  I did not follow this "truth" but I believe it now because of all the tears that are shed when the TV is turned off, or not allowed on. it worth it to cry over?  No...but I do remember countless nights in college when my boyfriend (now husband) was not allowed to call the house I shared with three other girls because Melrose Place was on and we didn't want any interruptions.  No DVR back then!  As a result of MY being allowed TV, well, at any point in my life, I am addicted and could watch it all day if I wasn't trying to be a good role model some of the time.
  3. DVR is awesome! :)
  4. Having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
  5. Having kids is the most stressful thing I have ever done!
  6. I could kill someone trying to hurt my children and not feel badly about it.
  7. Guns don't kill people.  Husbands who come home early do.  (LOL!  I had to put that one in there! LOL!)
  8. Children will do anything for a Skittle. :)
  9. Children can play together for days, weeks, maybe even months without ever exchanging names.
  10. Children will play together regardless of age, creed, gender, or language.  Play is a language all of its own.  I love this fact! :)
  11. Your children have enough friends, they don't need you to be their friend, they need you to be the parent; set boundries, have rules, give them responsibilities, and be there for them when their friends are not.
  12. You don't always have to interferre when sibling rivalry rears its ugly head, again, and again, and again.  Let them work it out more often than not.  They need to learn to get along with difficult people, and who's more difficult than their sibling who is the complete opposite as them!
  13. Even good parents have naughty kids.  (You've met Braden right?!!) LOL
  14. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. :)  But sometimes fun things do. ;)  But bad, definitely bad. LOL
  15. Children don't care how awful your voice is, just as long as you sing with them: loudly and proudly!
  16. Don't wait too long to tell the people you love how much you care.  Tell them daily if possible.  Life is way too short and ends before anyone is ready. 
  17. Writing thank you notes is a lost artform. 
  18. People who don't treat their animals like they are a part of the family don't deserve to have them.  And people who mistreat their animals should have the same thing happen to them.
  19. People who mistreat children should just be shot.  End of story.
  20. Singing the wrong lyrics to a song does not make you makes you creative!  ("I weigh too much, hate the sound!"----Highway to the Dangerzone) :)
  21. Blogging is a way to talk too much without anyone interrupting you. :)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Phineas & Ferb

For those of you unfamiliar with the children's show "Phineas and Ferb" I urge you to catch an episode on Disney Channel one of these days.  Or better yet, watch this clip:

This show is seriously so full of great on-liners that you can't even begin to imagine them all!  Here are just a few of our favorites:
  • "Curse you Perry the Platypus!"
  • "Perry the Platypus your persistence is insufferable, and by that I mean completely sufferable!"
  • "Hey, where's Perry?"
  • "Oh!  There you are Perry!"
  • "Mooooom! Phineas and Ferb are building a giant roller coaster!"
  • "What now Candace?"
Jason and I really enjoy watching this show with our kids because it is so creative and funny.  We have actually caught ourselves stopping on Disney Channel when we have been flipping channels at night and watching part of an episode without the kids even around!  It cracks us up and listening to Braden and Lauren mimic what they've seen is even more hilarious then watching it ourselves. 

The characters in the show have an extensive vocabulary and we have caught our kids using big words like: imagination, actually, seriously, legendary, enormous, etc.

So check it out, watch it with your kids, and enjoy!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Why do I Bother?!

Ok, seriously, why do I think that it's going to be any different each time I take my kids on errands with me?  Seriously, why?!  It's always the same.  We leave with a goal in mind, I warn them of what is going to happen should they decide to misbehave, they misbehave anyway, I whisper threats under my breath to them, we come home mad at each other and then they act like nothing has happened.

Tonight was barely different.  We had to run to WalMart (enter large groan here) to get a couple of birthday presents for some very important friends in our lives.  Before we left I said, "Ok, now if I count you to three we are coming straight home with no presents."  I checked for understanding and away we went.

The first thing that happens is that they are fighting over which side of the cart they are going to walk on and things are getting loud.  "That's one for both of you." I calmly say.  We go a little further.  I grab some much-needed hair products and we turn to go down where the toys are.  Now they aren't really misbehaving at this point, but their oooohs and ahhhhs over all the Halloween decorations are just a bit on the loud side.  "That's two guys, quiet down."  I'm still calm.  We are now in the dreaded toy aisle.  This is where the calmness has left my body and I am downright stressed.  They are running back and forth from aisle to aisle yelling like hyenas about all the cool stuff.  Now here is where this counting thing gets tricky!  They have already been counted to two for being loud in the store.  Here I should count them to three, leave my cart full of things, and go home.  Here is why I don't:
  1. I have a cart full of things that I came to the dreaded WalMart to buy.  Things I "need."  Do I really want to leave them?
  2. We've come SO FAR!  We have gotten all of our other little things on my list, and are now down to the last two items.  Can I really give up now?
  3. If I count them to three and "calmly" say that we are now leaving, I will have to make the "walk of shame" all the way to the front of the store and out into the parking lot with at least one screamer, one whiner, and a very red-in-the-face mom.
So what do I do?  I resort back to my old ways of muttering things under my breath, making empty threats that there is no way I would follow through on, and leave the store with all of the things in my cart while making apologetic faces at the poor cashier who has to deal with us.

The only thing keeping me from feeling like a complete failure in tonight's little escapade is the fact that I came home with a Margaritaville Margarita Maker and all the fixens!  Now you know why I couldn't leave my cart!  LOL!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Boys and Dogs

My dog Sadie loves my kids.  And my kids love Sadie.  Braden and Sadie are especially fond of each other.  Braden plays Frisbee with Sadie nearly every morning before we leave for work/school.  And in turn, Sadie is not shy in expressing her love for him, which usually means he needs his face washed.  Today, however, Braden was not fond of Sadie.

Braden had asked me if he could eat a fruit snack.  I said no because I had just put a very *healthy* pizza in the oven and it would be done shortly.  He proceeded to whine about it.  "That's one." I said.  He whined a little more and said, "Please, I'll be so nice I promise!"  "That's two."  I said.  He whined some more.  I said, "That's three, time out."  He threw a fit all the way to time out.  Sadie followed us.  I walked back to the kitchen to set the timer for his three minutes.  Then I start to hear him yelling at Sadie: "Sadie, leave me alone!  Sadie stoooooop!  Go away!"  So I glanced out at the "time out rug" and there sits Braden yelling at Sadie.  Sadie has decided that she is Braden's keeper and there she sits, directly in front of him, staring.  Just staring at him!

I couldn't help it.  I laughed out loud and called Sadie over to me.  I wonder if she understood my lecture about not being Braden's boss and that I would be responsible for his staying in time out. =P

Friday, October 8, 2010

Selective Sight

Did you know that's it's a scientific fact that children cannot see the messes that they make?  It's true!  I swear!  They have this innate ability to drag out everything that they own, and step over it for DAYS until either 1)their mother puts it away, 2) their mother practically kills herself tripping over it, or C) their father trips over it and chucks it into their rooms, which are also a mess.  There is good news and bad news about this scientific theory of selective sight.

The good news is that almost all little girls will eventually grow out of it, and grow up to be quite productive members of society, contributing quite nicely to their households and the world.  The bad news?  Little boys NEVER grow out of it and our plagued by this ailment for their ENTIRE lives!

Know how I know this?  Because I live with a wonderful man who is good to me, a wonderful father, does the laundry, cooks more meals than I do, participates fully in our lives together. . .and who is absolutely absent of any housekeeping skills whatsoever.  And believe me, I have tested this theory many, many, many times.

We will be about to have company over and I will be frantically trying to pick things up and he will look around and say, "Honey, the house looks fine!"  And um, excuse me, but I wouldn't let my best friend in my house the way it was.  I have even gone so far as to wait him out on the housecleaning.  Do you remember that episode of Ray Romano's sitcom where he and his wife Debra are fighting over who is going to put the suitcase away?  It sat there for days, weeks, and neither of them was budging.  I thought that Jason and I were reliving this episode in real life.  Turns out, only I was reliving it.  He was just going through life as happy as a clam in a mold and dust-infested house.  I, on the other hand, was going CRAZY!  When I finally shouted to the rooftops that I caved. . .he was like, "what?"

So what is the answer to the infernal question of how to get your family to pick up after themselves?  I'm afraid that we will never know because all the scientist assigned to this case are men, and they don't think there's a problem.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A Girl for the Guys

A very good friend of mine dropped by tonight while we were outside playing football with the kids.  She told me I was amazing and that I was a real "guy's girl." =)  I like that!  My response to her was, "Well, you've seen my camo mailbox and the deer skull pinned to it right?  What do you think!"  She told me not to breathe a word of it to her husband or he might get ideas. :)

Before I met Jason I was petrified of guns.  But by the time I went home to the farm with him for the first time he had me holding and shooting any that he could get his hands on.  As a result, I am quite the markswoman!  I have always told Jason not to surprise me by coming home early from a trip because I will shoot first and ask questions later!!!  We are raising our kids not to fear guns, but to respect them.  The kids go shooting with their dad whenever we are back at the farm and they love it.  Of course they can't hit the target without Jason holding the gun with them, but they still love it.  One of my favorite Laurenisms occurred when she was about two years old.  We had taken her to the zoo in Omaha and we were looking at the giraffes.  She got all excited and said to Jason: "Shoot it Daddy!"  LOL!  Can you tell she's the daughter of a hunter?  And just the other night the kids had been downstairs playing together.  Jason went down to get something and was chuckling to himself as he came up the stairs.  He said that when he walked past the couch he looked over and the kids had posed our coyote pelt with a nerf gun on top of it.  They had apparently been coyote hunting with their play guns and had shot one...and every good hunter knows you have to pose the animal just right to make it look good for the camera!!!

So, how does it feel to be the only one in the family that the hunting bug HASN'T bitten?  Awesome.  Know why?  Because as soon as both kids are old enough to hunt, I will have some VERY quiet weekends during hunting season.  I can't wait. =)

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Life As I Know It

It's funny, but I often-times find myself wondering just what in the world I did before I had kids.  And there are those rare moments in my life when I DO remember and think: What in the world was I thinking?!  When we first moved here we had nothing.  We were straight out of college, new to our jobs, new to this city, and with NO responsibilities.  No house, no dog, no kids. . .and well, no friends!  And can you believe it?  Those are the times that I reminisce about.  Not college parties, or high school football games. . .nope. . .I reminisce about the time when it was just Jason and I taking on the world.  Young, newly married, not a care in the world, and so, so, so in love.  <sigh>  But you know what?  Even though everything has changed since that first year we were married, there is one thing that remains a constant.  We are still so utterly in love with each other that it makes all of life's stresses worth it.

My stresses have names: Lauren Joan, who will turn 6 very soon, and Braden David who is all of 3 years old.  I love them more than life itself, even on those days when the majority of my thoughts and prayers start like this: Please God, grant me the strength to deal with my children today. =)

I hope that you will enjoy reading about my little stresses and find my blog entertaining.  I would love to have followers. =)